i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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