The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
