i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
