Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
