I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
