I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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