I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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