All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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