My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
