Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You can't just leave with hair like that
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
