Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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