i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
