Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
