Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I cannot find my penis.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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