this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize
