We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
