if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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