My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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