Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
