What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it because I queefed?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
