Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
