If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
