He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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