White coat. Heels.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I love you. Go after that dick
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
