He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
