It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
