Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
