would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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