It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
