U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
