i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
