it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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