Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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