I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
