Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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