apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
