she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
