So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
