her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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