Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
