I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
