At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just want to make out with him forever
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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