census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
