I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
