The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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