she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
