Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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