Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
