I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
