i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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