so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
