This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
